Ponderings from a Procrastinating Prognosticator

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What If?

Posted by samatwitch on September 18, 2020

As a writer, I’m always asking what if? It’s the basis for most fiction writers that I know, whether they’re writing romance, suspense, murder, spy, science fiction, fantasy or any other genre. During this time of pandemic, I’ve been pondering a lot of things. I decided to do a 100 day writing challenge, writing a poem a day for 100 days. The poems quickly became ponderings. I wrote them on index cards, usually both sides, and occasionally using more than one card. On Day 45 (May 22nd), I became whimsical rather than philosophical and this was what I wrote.

What if Mary’s little lamb had been black as coal? Would it still have followed her everywhere she went?

What if Miss Muffet (why so formal?) had made friends with the spider instead of running away?

What if Jill had walked down the hill and kept the pail of water for which they had laboured? Did Jack undergo the correct protocol for concussion?

What if Jack Sprat decided to eat some fat. Would he and his wife (whose name was Joan Cole, it turns out) fight over the bacon? (I didn’t realise that what we learn is only the first verse of a very long poem. https://youtu.be/7Cv2OtlrH3o )

What about nimble Jack, jumping over a candlestick? Why? Was it a dare from friends? Maybe one of the challenges we see young people doing today and posting online.

And then there was Little Jack Horner who was greedy, messy and a braggart. He stuck his thumb into his Christmas pudding and then bragged that he was a good boy.

Also, what’s with all the Jacks anyway? Were there no other names available?

What’s with the cow jumping over the Moon? What would make her think of doing such a thing? And why did the spoon run away with the plate? Wouldn’t a bowl have been more compatible?

Then there’s Mary who was quite contrary and yet managed to grow a beautiful garden in spite of it. (My mother used to call me Mary, Mary, quite contrary when I was young and she was frustrated. 🙂 )

I may have more of these at a future date.

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National Pet Day

Posted by samatwitch on April 12, 2016

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How to Be a Ladyperson at the Holidays: 10 Important Tips

Posted by samatwitch on December 11, 2015

A must read for anyone who wants to be a ‘proper’ woman this holiday season. “No pants. Never any pants.” 😀

Straight from the ad pages of your favorite magazines, here’s your guide to being a girl in December. Take notes.

* * *

1. Stay cozy. Wear a baby.

wear a baby If you play your cards right, your sensitive, goateed dad/boyfriend/professor will reward you with a pair of socks made out of his extra sweater sleeves.

 * * *

2. Flaunt your complexity.

Embrace all your many dimensions. Think: "I'm an heiress and an Italian professor at this upscale tropical funeral." Show off all your many dimensions at once. When planning outfits for your holiday soirées, think: “I’m an heiress and an Italian professor at this upscale tropical funeral.”

* * *

3. Represent feminine softness in a hard masculine world.

coach All around you are skyscrapers made of bricks and iron and glass and ouchy things. They’re all pointy and hard. But not you. You’re a soft pink flower in a gentle haze of light. Everything around you is blooming, because you breathed springtime into winter. You’re a superfresh candypants sugarblossom.

 * * *

4. If you’re truly hot, you…

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Report supporting police ignored by most of media

Posted by samatwitch on July 27, 2015

Crime & Punishment

Dr. Christine Hall, an experienced emergency room physician, released a report earlier this month detailing her findings from a study of incidents when the police interact in a violent manner with the public.
You likely haven’t heard of Dr. Hall or her study. The bulk of the mainstream media ignored her largely because she found that despite all the interactions police have with members of the public, less than one tenth of one percent turned violent and in most instances the police are restrained in their response and do not use excessive force. And unfortunately, supporting the police, for the most part, is not what is done in the mainstream media. It’s unseemly. After all, the police keep secrets from them. They must be covering something up.
Oh dear, whatever will David Eby of the BC Civil Liberties Association do now? His delusional perception that all police are jack-booted enforcers…

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Stacey Jay, Veronica Mars, and The Kickstarter Controversy

Posted by samatwitch on January 11, 2015

I’m reposting this well-articulated post in support of Stacey Jay, a YA author who found herself embroiled in controversy after starting a Kickstarter campaign to write a sequel to her last book. The post expresses exactly my feelings about the situation.

Marni Bates

Hey everyone,

Okay, I’m not going to lie. I’m upset. In fact, I’m shaking with the force of my feels. So please brace yourself, because this might be a bumpy ride.

Where to begin?

Right. Stacey Jay.

For those of you who haven’t had the distinct pleasure of meeting Stacey Jay, she’s a tremendous YA author whose talent is equaled only by her kindness. I met her at the Las Vegas Book Festival. I entered a room (where I knew almost nobody) wearing a giant poofy, sparkly prom dress and Stacey immediately made me feel welcome. That’s the kind of person she is.


You can read about that conference right here!

Unfortunately, Stacey’s book sales haven’t been strong enough for her publishing house to keep her on as an author. And at the end of the day, if a publisher feels like they will make more money investing in someone…

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FCKH8 Exploits Little Girls In Order To Sell T-Shirts

Posted by samatwitch on October 22, 2014

I do have to say that although I saw a link to this video, I did not watch it. However I do agree with everything she says in this post.

The Belle Jar

Trigger warning for rape

Yesterday, FCKH8 released a video called F-Bombs for Feminism: Potty Mouthed Princesses Use Bad Words for Good Cause that quickly went viral, and has been shared hundreds of thousands of times on Facebook alone. This isn’t surprising – it’s a video designed to hit that marketing sweet spot where people are equal parts outraged, delighted and just plain not sure what to think. I’d be willing to bet that this video has had nearly as many hate-shares and “is this offensive?” shares as it has people posting it because they think it’s great.

FCKH8’s video is carefully calculated to appeal to a certain type of young, hip feminist (as well as being designed to cause offence and outrage among right-wing conservatives). It starts out with a bunch of sweet little girls wearing princess costumes striking stereotypically cute poses and simpering “pretty” at the camera. Then there’s a record…

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My Mr. Toast Collection

Posted by samatwitch on March 5, 2012

In 2008, people and events conspired – in a great way – to get me to the annual San Diego Comic-Con.  It was the first year the con sold out and it was overwhelming, joyous, inspiring, hot, sweaty, crowded, delightful, invigorating, informative, and very well-co-ordinated.  One of the main reasons I wanted to go was to meet some of my online friends who were going and that’s still one of the main reasons I’ve continued to go.  The other main reason was/is to see and hear Joss Whedon in person, even if it’s at a distance or more visible on a big screen.  (Last year I got to sit in the front row for his panel and that was great!)

Before I left, I planned every detail that I could and one of the things I did was make a list of what I wanted to purchase in the exhibition hall – and exactly where those particular boothes were.  Every year, dealers at the Con have exclusives – items which can only – or at first – be bought at SDCC.  The first one that caught my attention was Vampire Mr. Toast.  Although I’m not a big fan of vampires, I am a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and this ‘doll’ just made me smile.  I had never heard of Mr. Toast but apparently he has many friends. Since then, I have added to my collection each year: Vampire Mr. Toast, Ninja Joe the Egg, Devil Bacon & Frankentoast.  (Last year I also purchased Leif the Leaf and I bought Vampire Candy Corn for a friend.)  Here’s a picture of my collection, along with a rat from Pennsic given by a friend.



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Posted by samatwitch on February 15, 2012

I’ve never posted anyone else’s posts here, but this is such an excellently written article equating rape with being stung with bees I had to.

Angie's Anti-Theistic Thoughts

It is simply shocking that in the year 2012 people are still getting stung by bees, even when we all know perfectly well the best ways to avoid this. Clearly, people are being frivolous and uncareful in their personal protection and if they took this kind of threat a bit more seriously, maybe they wouldn’t hate themselves so badly after an attack. So, in the spirit of victim-shaming, let me share with you the best methods for avoiding being stung by a bee. Remember: if you are stung by a bee, you should immediately consult this list to discover what you did wrong. It is never the bee’s fault, always yours. With that in mind, let us begin.

  • Invest in the best locks and doors you can. Never enjoy a summer’s breeze. Having an unlocked or open window is like an invitation to a feisty bee to invade your home and puncture…

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Here I Am

Posted by samatwitch on July 6, 2008

I was trying to think of an adjective to come before ‘ponderings’ and came up with several (preoccupied, presumptious, pretenious, preternatural, purple, prevalent).  I settled on ‘prevailing’ and then decided that it didn’t need an adjective after all.  Plus it made the title too long!

I’m not sure how much or what I’ll write here.  I already have a blog that I don’t write in very often, plus a LiveJournal.  I’m not sure that I have that much interesting to say, even to myself.

But, here I am, willing to try again.   Perhaps I will at least be able to top the musings of a mediocre marmot!

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